I originally sat down for this post on Thursday evening. I didn't trust myself or the words I would type, so I let the post and my mind sit until I had more happy events to write about. Unfortunately, things have a way of compounding and I find it hard not to acknowledge that I'm letting the negative overshadow the positive.
On Wednesday evening I texted K to ask what time she wanted me to arrive at her house. Almost an hour and a half later, she finally got back to me and told me she would call me in half an hour. Almost an hour later she finally called and told me that her family members who were supposed to attend Thanksgiving at her house had decided to host Thanksgiving instead, and she was essentially canceling on me. I tried to remain positive, but it was hard as it was the night before the event and I had just finished spending a good chunk of the day making food to bring to her house. I can't help but wonder what time K had decided on this change of plans, and whether she had planned to tell me or not. At the end of the phone call, K mentioned that we could make up for it on Friday or Saturday, seemingly forgetting that I had told her previously that my Friday and Saturday were going to be incredibly busy. I reminded her, and she declared that they would make it to Saturday's festivities. I did note at the time, however, that she failed to ask what time it would start.
Thursday was a weird day for me. I had slated the entire day for that get together, and here I was with an entire day free. It turned into a blog upkeep day, where I took pictures and started working on some upcoming blog posts. I also worked on some cleaning I had planned to do Friday, and spent some time prepping some of the foods for Saturday.
Friday M and I further cleaned and prepped/made food in preparation for Saturday.
Saturday I woke up early to put some finishing touches on the house and make the food that I wanted to be fresh (cookies!!). My mood had been pretty down since Wednesday night, so much so that I turned to M at one point and said "I wouldn't be surprised if nobody showed up." I had let myself fall into such a downward spiral that I couldn't imagine anything else this week going as planned. Fortunately, everyone showed up, and I found myself too busy to sulk about K and in a quite joyous state. The house was full of people and laughter, jokes and food, and movies and napping. At one point the snow started falling, too!
During spring and summer, this is a garden the landlord tends to. |
K messaged me in the middle of all of this, asking what time it was supposed to start and telling me that they were on their way to Yongsan. I informed her that the protests in the areas around Seoul and Yongsan would keep her on the roads a while, and that the festivities had already started and ended. Later that day I vented quite a bit to M. I'm having a hard time finding where I fit into my groups of friends, and feeling like I'm a second thought or someone who can be overwritten or canceled isn't exactly making me want to try. I understand that it can be harder to maintain friendships as an adult when you have your own family and things to take care of, but this feels like a final straw that makes me want to recede into my cocoon of comfort again.
Overall this week was more positive than negative, but the down was definitely a strong one.
I took some time to work on the Christmas decorations. Namely putting the ornaments and lights on the tree.
These are the handmade ornaments that my mom put together before I was born. Once I was born, mom started cross stitching little pillow-like ornaments for me and my siblings. Every Christmas, we would pick our own design and she would turn it into an ornament with the year on it. I may want to start doing something like that.
Another thing I've been meaning to talk a little bit about is my planning obsess- I mean, passion.
I know, metallic green on pastel isn't exactly readable in pictures. Maybe that's the point.... :P |
This adventure has turned into a great outlet for me. It combines my love of creativity and art with a way to keep myself organized and keep track of my life. I've learned that it's no longer easy to write in my journal (my physical one, not my bloggy one :P) every day, but it is to write little blurbs about my day in my planner.
This picture was taken on Thursday, so the 2nd half of the week is much fuller now.
I also may or may not have ransacked some sticker shops' Black Friday weekend sales. I'm still on the fence about posting hauls or anything more about planning.
Today has been a recovery day. I'd like to say I started working on the food and leftovers that were left behind yesterday. In reality, I've been sitting at the computer all day playing video games. So, there's that LOL!
How has your holiday weekend been? Did you partake in any sales? Does your kitchen feel overrun by leftovers?
Post the hauls! Pooossssst the haullllllls! Look at how many ridiculous hauls I post. lol
ReplyDeleteI did a bit of online shopping Black Friday, and spent way too much money on myself. I kinda feel bad about that with Christmas coming but...I'll get over it.
Our kitchen is pretty much back to normal, only a bit of turkey left to be gobbled. With just the four of us this year, I didn't make a lot.
That stinks about the friendship situation. I retreated to my own cocoon of comfort long ago. It's to the point that I feel SO awkward now if I do hang out with anyone, even people I used to hang out with easily years ago. Most of the time I'm content in my cocoon vs. struggling to be social. I have no words of wisdom for you on this, but I hope you find some happy middle ground that works for you. =)
~dEB
Wow.... dEB?
Delete~Deb
I may spend some money on myself today. I've been eyeing some Cyber Monday deals and they seem really good... and the items aren't things I put on my Christmas list!
DeleteI think it's particularly hard with friendships right now because I'm finally old enough to realize how flawed the world and people are. As an extension of that, people and friendships can never be perfect. I've gone so long without truly close friendships that I've forgotten that all of them have their bumps along the road. Man, getting older and realizing why certain things and people are the way they are sucks! LOL!
Wait till you're as old as me, young whippersnapper. Now hand me my cane.
Delete~Deb
Sorry about the friend issue. I know how that goes, putting deposits in a friend's love tank but not feeling like you are getting yours filled in return. I have always struggled with that form certain people in my life but in the end all you can do is be the best friend you can and don't push yourself too hard when you feel over stressed or under appreciated. I am glad everyone showed up and you guys had a house full of love and laughter.
ReplyDeleteThose ornaments are so cute. I love that your mom made them. They remind me of the one cross stitch ornament that my mom made me years and years ago. I did start that tradition of saving an ornament once a year for my girls to give them when they get older.
Post your hauls about planner stuff! I love it! And I have a friend who has a new planner addiction and I could use some gifting ideas.
Hope you have a great week!
The ornament thing....I've bought a new ornament for both Ty and Casey every year since their first Christmas. We did hang them on the tree each tree, but the plan all along was that they'd take them with when they eventually moved it. Do you hang the girls' on the tree, or have they not even seen them yet?
Delete~Deb
I already had to step back a little over the Summer when it felt like people kept withdrawing and never deposited anything in return. This month I returned to talking to some of those people, and it quickly drained me again. Like you said, though, I'll just continue to try and be the best "me" I can be and work on my own flaws!
DeleteWe have such nice decorations for my parents tree now, and every year the 'look' gets messed up by the pillow ornaments... and we wouldn't have it any other way!
Fiiine, you and Deb yanked my arm enough. I'll post my hauls when they come in! :)
Deb, how cool! I think you gave me the idea to begin with! I hide them away in a box in the closet. Some I let them pick out at the store and put away and others I will let them pick their "favorite" from the tree and put in the box. That way it is a mix of ones from memories and ones they like at the store.
DeleteLiz, yay! I want to seeeee! I hope the friend thing works out in your favor. You are an amazing person with a lot to give and I know you would be awesome to hangout with. Finding true friends is very hard to do. I don't have many but I treasure the ones I have, online ones like you and Deb too. <3